ZThemes

A fool who plays it cool

Hey. Call me Taya. l would have a yellow polo, but Becky Baker donated my uniform.
My blog is almost too multifandom to function.

I've went by many urls. My past ones include xxbitch-in-a-uniformxx lawrencesexual, boobslinnpaul, and mittromenoodles.

PS: I do not own any gifs or pictures on this blog unless stated otherwise. Credit goes to whoever made them.
posted May.21.13 + 62726 notes + reblog
#favorite
posted May.21.13 + 1715 notes + reblog
#freaky friday

youmeatsixual:

one time my sister told me about this kid with a horrible peanut allergy who wouldn’t shut up and then the teacher turned around and was like “maybe if i shove a peanut down your throat you’ll shut up” and the whole class just went silent 

(Source: spicesandvirtues)

posted May.21.13 + 16272 notes + reblog
#omg

powerburial:

DON’T

  • make me nervous

DO

  • not make me nervous
posted May.21.13 + 7064 notes + reblog

‎*Mom hands me phone to answer*

Me: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
posted May.21.13 + 97947 notes + reblog
#omg
posted May.21.13 + 264 notes + reblog
#the office
posted May.21.13 + 4907 notes + reblog
#how i met your mother

i cybered on omegle today

You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
posted May.21.13 + 115259 notes + reblog
#omg

the-narddog:

R.I.P. me

Cause of death: The Office

posted May.21.13 + 188 notes + reblog
#literally me last week #and bc snl
1/3 of me: I wanna be fit and sexy and have a flat stomach and be lean and have lots of muscle.
1/3 of me: I wanna be skinny and tiny and dainty and delicate and bony and frail and look cute in everything.
1/3 of me: I wanna not give a shit about what I look like and be happy instead.
posted May.21.13 + 96556 notes + reblog